Canned

I have a solution for the Trump situation. Can him. No not as in “You’re Fired”. Pickle him. That’s right preserve. Hang with me, you’ll see. Label the front of the jar 2017 with an expiration date of NEVER. On the back list the ingredients lest they be forgotten. Lots of vinegar. Equal handfuls of misogyny, arrogance, vitriol, vulgarity, hate, incompetence, stupidity, lies, bluster and distrust. 3 tablespoons each yellow dye #5 and orange dye #3 and 1 teaspoon red dye #2. Remove the jar to a shelf, deep in a dark basement between the haricot vert green beans and Shishito peppers. Check every so often to make sure the jar seal hasn’t been broken. Leave the jar there for a long time. All the while remembering this failed experiment vowing never repeat it. Ever. Then let’s all work toward perfecting the next presidential recipe and make it savory with a pinch of sweet.

Canned by Ken Orvidas

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